It's been heartbreaking to see the names of the children and adults whose lives were taken so quickly in Newtown, Connecticut.
My young nieces and nephew live one town over, and I was with their mom when she found out about the shooting. At the time, I just felt numb.
Now, as more details and more opinions come out regarding the incident, the numbness has been replaced with sadness, outrage, and fear.
An article came out on Gawker about a woman who has a son with violent tendencies and possible disorders. I was shocked at how judgmental and ignorant the commenters could be. Yet, among the comments that make you feel utterly disappointed in humans, there are personal stories that give you chills and stir up compassion for people who are dealing with mental illnesses. For the parents of sick children who feel helpless and overwhelmed by the lack of support in the mental health system. For the siblings AND parents who live in constant fear of their family member...not knowing when they will be chased with knives, who lock their bedroom doors at night, and hide any potential weapons around the house. I urge you to read these stories that readers share in the comments.
Although it is not a thought that frequently plagues me, I believe I worry more than the average person about the gamble of what my future children will turn out to be. I flipped out when I watched "We Need to Talk About Kevin." I know that it can be a hard life when one is a parent to a child with special needs. And to think of the extreme cases, such as the ones that involve violent acts committed by my own child, scares me silly. I calmed myself down a bit before going to sleep last night. And I prayed for all of the families who are in need of support and love. I reminded myself that I don't allow fear to stop me from doing what I want. I do believe that eventually I will have children. So whatever happens, I will embrace the situation and hope that we can share the joys of life together.